Born in The Netherlands, 
Made in India

Receiving healing

In 2006 I found my calling, finally. Before that I had no idea what I wanted to do as a profession. I received many Releasing sessions this year (Releasing is a healing method) and when I learned this practical method for myself I realised it does not have to be difficult or take a long time to bit by bit let go of our emotional pain, limiting beliefs, stress or trauma.
It is just, we are so used to walking around with our „stuff“. Nobody has taught us that just like we have to daily clean our teeth, do the dishes and clean our house, that just in the same way we have to look after our inner emotional life and clean up there.  

The light in us

It was in this beginning time that I was shown a picture before my third eye and this explained what actually was happening when I was now releasing myself and my friends.
I was shown a light that was covered with lots of layers. And with this picture also the teaching was delivered. This light is the light in each person and it stands for our true nature symbolising the joy and love which are always present in us but so often covered with layers of trauma, pain, limiting beliefs, stress etc.
This picture showed me that with this inner work we were releasing these layers and thus bringing more light into our lives. 

When we release the layers that cover our light, the more our joy and love can flow into our lives and the more we can experience it.
The more clarity we will have and the more we will experience our inner guidance. 

How do we know if it is messy, chaotic or cleaned up inside ourselves or not? You can feel or have a look in your own life: How much joy and ease and how much love and connection, do you experience in your life? 

And, is it enough for you?

The discovery

"Amazing!" I was so thrilled that it is possible to let go of inner blocks, limiting beliefs, emotional stress, childhood trauma etc. I was totally excited that it is possible to live an easier life! It was such a discovery that I had made for myself.
I could now also clearly recognise the issues in other people and then help to dissolve them.

Many people around me looked unhappy. I wanted to tell them all, "Hey, you don't have to suffer. You can resolve so many things and let go of your issues and pain!"
The interesting thing was, I had been living in India for 4 years already with the sole purpose of personal development and spiritual growth. Only now, however, did I discover that there were two very important building blocks for this and not just the one I had been practicing until then: meditation, reading, putting into practise the spiritual teachings or the self-help books, not to forget spending time with spiritual teachers.
It was only now that I discovered the second indispensable building block to move forward and evolve to a more free and happy person: inner cleaning up!

It seems so logical to me now. But why hadn't anyone told me this years before? The answer is actually a bit sad and shocking. It is simply not very known! This inner cleaning up for our well being, for our personal and spiritual growth not to mention for strong and healthy relationships, for more selflove and selfconfidence and for more peace, somehow the relevance of inner cleaning up for these is most of the time simply overlooked.

Definitly I had learned a lot in my first 4 years in India and probably I had also changed and developped but for myself this was hardly noticable. And I felt a lot of what I had learned was in my head but it had not transformed me into a more free, loving and joyful person.
Only in 2006, when I consciously began to clean up inside myself, the transformation started to come quickly and I could feel and see the positive changes in my daily life.

My old self

Until 2006 I still felt inside like an insecure, shy young girl with many self-doubts. I could not say "no" to people and I was not even aware of it at the time!
I looked up to self-confident strong people and looked to them for attention and acceptance because I was not able to give it to myself.
Criticism I always found very painful and difficult to deal with. I felt "I'm not good enough." and criticism would bore into that wound and would trigger my pain.
Lots of feelings of shame, feeling inferior to others and self-criticism accompanied me to that time. 

Making decisions is difficult for many people. For me it was fear of making the wrong choices that would make my path to self-actualization longer. 

Self-realization was my only goal at that time. I thought, then I will finally be happy, then I will be loved and admired and I can't make any mistakes anymore. 

I must honestly say that until I started my inner work I had not been much aware of my behaviour or had given it much thought, I definitily did not know that it could be any different! 

When I started to „tidy up“ my emotional and inner life, everything started to change. Step by step I transformed from a shy highly sensitive girl full of self-doubt and fears to a self-confident woman.

How my anger was mirrored to me

I like to share a powerful example which exemplifies what is possible.
Over several years I was bullied by a person close to me. I knew that I could change this by working on myself but somehow I could not. I felt like a victim and very sorry for myself blaming the other person for their behaviour.
One day when I had sat myself again down for inner work to look at this issue I noticed that I had so much anger directed at myself and I saw I wanted to hurt myself and even destroy myself. I was very shocked to see this. But it was the beginning of the end of the bullying.

I started to feel and thereby release my anger at myself and I could just see the other person changing. No more anger came to me, no more bullying.
I had blamed this person so much for their anger and critisism towards me and I
had not been able to see how I was the cause of this.
But now that I had released my anger at myself there was nothing of that hurtful behaviour left. 

Over all these years, this person had just been my mirror!
And that is the magic that happens when we work on ourselves, the people (and situations) around us change as well and our relationships become better and stronger. Sometimes also a relationship does not match anymore. Than we are open to other people that suit us better and release holding on to old relationships that don´t function anymore.

Transformational successes over the years

Feeling very free and much more relaxed in the midst of people.
Less and less trying to please anyone out of need for their love and acceptance.
Having a high self-acceptance and living more and more authenticly as myself.

It is interesting, through this work, we live ever more our authentic selves. No more shyness or having to hide something out of shame. 
Because of our ever deepening self acceptance, we become free to be and show our selves exactly as we are. It is a wonderful feeling to be so free and playful!

Making decisions has become easy and the urge for self-actualization dissapeared and actually I had totally forgotten about it.

My intuition has developed over the years and guides me very clearly. Life is so much easier now!

Afer 9 years of living in India I moved back to Europe in 2011 and since then am living in Germany.

What would you like to change?

So much is possible!

Your Atma Free

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